The driver paused at the junction for a second look

Did I remain calm and considerate, no did I fuck

Oi, dickhead what the fuck do ya think you’re doing

Standing like a twat when you should’ve been moving

You’re holding up the traffic for fucking miles around

Dickheads driving just like you shouldn’t be allowed

Did you pass your test before the dawn of time

Driving like a vicar should be a fucking crime

I’m going to flash my lights and give the horn a beep

Shout and fucking scream at you and haunt you as you sleep

Move that fucking heap of shit out the fucking way

I’ll make yer fucking wish you’d stayed in bed today

Do ya know who I am, you fucking well will do

I’ll get outta my car and give you a fucking clue

With a single punch I’ll knock you to kingdom fucking come

You’ll only be recognisable to your fucking mum

For the next month you’ll be sipping through a straw

Just for falling foul of my fucking law.

Well, that is what my brain was telling me to say

But luckily my mouth stayed shut, refusing to play.

Although the brain is clever, it has no nerves you see

It wouldn’t feel any pain, unlike the rest of me

So in times of road rage, don’t be a fucking knob

Switch off your brain and shut your fucking gob